Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Today we celebrate all things Irish; shamrocks, green beer, soda bread, corned beef, beautiful red-haired dogs (Irish Setters-a tribute to my Aunt Tylene) leprechauns and of course the elusive pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

I realize that I'm on that quest for the pot of gold myself. Of course, the pot of gold in this instance is weight loss, health & wellness. And, it dawned on me that many of the things I hold most precious are the pots of gold at the end of a rainbow. And, to see the rainbow you have to endure a little rain. My kids; they are wonderful, beautiful little people that were the pot of gold at the end of long pregnancies and labors.

I may be walking through the rain right now, but the rainbow is just around the corner...and then my pot of gold. So, let's get out those cute green tights and leprechaun costume...this little lass is ready for the payoff!

Attack the Fat!!!

Well, it's official. The former Blue Busters, now known as Team Alpha, are back at it. We met last night for our weigh in and fitness test. Today, our workouts began. I am already having a hard time getting up and down and my workout ended just about 3 hours ago. I fear I am in for some serious PAIN tomorrow and the day after. Lunges, squats, lunges, squats...J-Lo and Beyonce--watch out...our booties will be looking booty-licious here soon!

But, it felt good. Really good. The body is moving again and it feels great. The pain in my feet doesn't feel so great, but I'm trying not to focus on that as much as the "good pain" of sore muscles. The foot pain is likely a result of being overweight and all the running doesn't help. But, I can't get the weight off without exercising! Good grief!

So, I'm cautiously optimistic about the second round of the Attack the Fat Challenge. I was expecting so much more from the first go-round. I think that I'm once again giving 100% and completely dedicated. It's just not possible to give 100% and see no results, again...right?

But, just in case, I did make an appointment with the doctor about the lap band. I'm not ruling anything out. I just don't think I have the luxury of ruling out any options. The fact is-I have to lose weight. Staying the same is not an option; the status quo can't be the status quo any longer. Unfortunately, the band is not covered on my insurance plan. So, if you happen to have an extra $17K lying around, let me know...

Bring on the casting call!

Saturday is the big day. Biggest Loser is holding an open casting call in DC and I am planning on getting up at the crack of dawn to go stand in line with the rest of the overweight population of our Nation's capital. What does one wear to a casting call for a reality TV show about a bunch of overweight couch potatoes? Hmmm...these decisions are just so rough.

Now, if weight wasn't my issue, then I would mosey to my closet and pull out a beautiful Lilly Pulitzer dress and be done with it. BUT, here's the catch...I don't FIT into any of my beautiful Lilly Pulitzer dresses. So, I guess I'll settle for a Lilly Pulitzer murfee scarf and plus size t-shirt and jeans. What fun.

What do you think the odds are for getting on the show? I figure my chances would probably be better to win the Power Ball. Perhaps I should go play some numbers? Perhaps I should play my own numbers-cholesterol, waist and bust size? Perhaps they will bring me the golden ticket! Either a shot at health, wellness and $250K or the power ball jackpot!

Either way-I figure I'm a winner. I'm putting myself out there. I'm all signed up for round two of the Attack the Fat Challenge; that means 3 days a week with a personal trainer. I've talked to a doctor about a lap band. And now, I'm auditioning for The Biggest Loser. This IS my year. Come hell or high water, the weight (sic) is over. I will end 2010 healthier, thinner and more accomplished than how I entered it. Wish me luck, folks! NBC and the producers of The Biggest Loser will not know what hit them!

Ding, ding, ding....Round Two!!!

So, the second installment of the "Attack the Fat Challenge" begins March 15. I am all signed up as are the other former members of the "Blue Busters". Thankfully, our name has been changed, although I don't think "Team Alpha" is much better. I mean, really, what does "Team Alpha" even mean? Are we a bunch of dogs attempting to become the leader of the weight loss pack? Well, now, maybe I'm on to something. Leader of the weight loss pack. I'm going to go with that. That's why my trainer chose this ridiculous name...

At any rate, I am, once again, motivated and energized to begin the challenge. I've missed the scheduled workouts with my team. It really does make a difference when other people are counting on you to be somewhere. Isn't it amazing that we do not hesitate to let ourselves down, but wouldn't dream of letting a team of people you barely know down? I have no connection with these three other people, outside of the fact that we were paired together in this challenge. But yet, I do not want to let them down with a "no show." However, the past two months that we haven't been meeting, my trips to the gym became a bit more sporadic. The only person I'm letting down in that scenario is myself. Shouldn't I rank a bit higher on the list than a group of acquaintances?

I guess this is all part of the reprogramming and re prioritizing. Who would have thought that this step is possibly more difficult than saying no to the Reese's peanut butter cups...

Food Revolution!

Is anyone as excited as I am about Jamie Oliver's new show Food Revolution? How exciting; I remember watching his program, The Naked Chef. The premise of his first show was preparing food in a more natural state and not adding a lot of junk to it.

So, his previews for his new show start with him in an elementary school checking out what the kids are eating. They're having pizza for breakfast and he's absolutely appalled. And honestly, can we blame him?

I struggle so much with my weight and I know, emphatically, that I do not want this to be my legacy for my children. What am I teaching them? Do they KNOW that pizza is not an acceptable breakfast? Do they KNOW that they need a minimum of 5 fruits and veggies a day to stay healthy and feed their bodies and minds? I hope so. And, I hope that my struggle is not a preview for their own lives. I hope they see that I'm a fighter, that I may not be perfect, but I strive each day to get better. And, I hope that with all that, they also see that pizza is not a good choice for breakfast.

Someone once said, "A leader leads by example, whether he intends to or not." So, I'm thankful that I have this opportunity to intentionally lead my children down a life long path of health and wellness. May that be the legacy I leave.

Olympic Mania

I just love the Olympics. My husband very lovingly refers to me as an Olympics nerd. Seriously, he catches me every two years, at wee hours in the morning watching the games. I don't just watch the popular events (gymnastics or track & field in summer- skating and skiing in winter). I mean, I watch them all...water polo, curling, whatever...bring on the games!

Honestly, what is not to love about the Olympics? They unite the world in sportsmanship and provide inspiration to the masses. The caliber of athlete that is able to compete in the Olympics is quite magnificent; and to medal, spectacular. And, medal contender or not...they are all striving to exceed their personal bests. Perhaps we can all take a lesson in striving for our personal best and harnessing our own Olympic spirit.

So, after reviewing my most recent post and pontificating on (to quote myself) "the mud of my own hopelessness", I am moving on. I'm harnessing my own Olympic spirit. I appreciate my friends and family for providing a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen and most importantly, for reminding me that I am not defined by a number on a scale. I am not defined by my struggles. I am an Olympian; striving to achieve my personal best and harness the power within.

Now, where did I put my motivation?

I seem to have lost it; my motivation that is (although some that know me may have thought I was talking about my mind).

It’s been a ROUGH few weeks. The unbelievable amounts of snow certainly hasn’t helped the situation but I guess what’s been really rough is the mind game I’ve been playing with myself. And here’s the real kicker about the mind games you play with yourself…there’s no winner. I have lost the battle with my mind the past few weeks and now I’m working on picking myself up, coming up out of the ditch I’ve been in and attempt to find my motivation.

I guess for the first time in a long time (since I started the Attack the Fat Challenge back in September) I feel hopeless. Now, I’m no stranger to the feelings of hopelessness when it comes to the battle with my weight. But, I haven’t experienced that feeling in a long time. I was so sure that the Attack the Fat Challenge would yield some results (uh, no- big goose egg on the scale); then came the doctor who insisted it was my thyroid. I’ve been on the medication now for months and no difference. (Well, perhaps I shouldn’t say no difference, my hair has stopped falling out and my hands and feet aren’t little ice blocks anymore.) I feel like Princess Leia in Star Wars, crying out to the Jedi Master, “Help me Obi-Wan, you’re my only hope.” But, here’s the catch…there seems to be no Weight Loss Jedi Master.

I’m sure there are those that would argue we are our own Weight Loss Jedi Masters. And, if you read through some of my previous blogs, I would have also made that argument in my more positive and motivated weeks of yore. But, if I had my mind mastered in this game, I wouldn’t be down here, in the mud of my own hopelessness trying to figure out how to get out of the pit…and back on the spin bike where I belong.

So, I sit here, with my “Biggest Loser Application” partially completed in one hand and a pamphlet on Bariatric Surgery in the other; and I’m asking myself…is this it? Are these the options I have after letting myself get this far from health and wellness?